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Posted by on May 9, 2013 in Articles |

The Love Cocktail

The Love Cocktail

She walks by.
Our eyes meet.
She has my undivided attention.
She can’t escape my thoughts.
How can I meet her?
I have to see her again!
Here she comes again!
My heart skips a beat.
My stomach fills with butterflies.
What should I say?
What would catch her attention?
Here I go!
We talk.
She says yes to a date,
Now, I’m in heaven.
Everything about her is so beautiful.
What is this feeling taking over me?

How does this infatuation happen?

In the brain, we cary own DNA.
In DNA there are Human Lymphocyte Antigen(HLA) codes.
HLA determines how well you can fight against each disease.
So some people never catch colds.
Other people catch colds all the time.
This immune ability is determined by HLA.

HLA is also responsible for infatuation process!

It does this by looking for someone with opposite HLA codes from yours.
This is so that your offspring will be healthy.
When HLA finds that match, it sends an urgent message to the entire DNA structure saying,

“I’ve found the match!”
It alerts and sends the message to the DNA.

Then the DNA begins to dance for joy and sends the same message to the emotional brain. The emotional brain gets excited and begins producing a lot of love chemicals. With that, the infatuation begins, and everything seems beautiful and perfect.

Then the critical thinking brain (frontal lobe) freezes.

Your thinking brain receives a lot less blood flow.
This causes you to lose the ability to think critically.
You are not as aware as you used to be.
Even when people try to warn you, you don’t care.
When they say, “Wake up! He is married, alcoholic, and has no job. He is no good for you.”
You reply, “You don’t know him. He is a good person. He just hasn’t met the right person yet. I can change him.”
You feel like you can conquer the impossible.
This feeling will begin decreasing within the first 2-3 years of marriage.

Watch out! DNA can lead you to a wrong person.

Notice that DNA looks only for the right match for the immune system.
Its match does not guarantee the qualities that make a person good for you.
It cannot discern whether that person has a good heart, has a lot of relationship skills, will be faithful to marriage, has good job skills, and is emotionally stable, etc.
That is why sometimes good people marry into unhealthy relationships.

What can we do then?

The correct answer is to prepare both of you for a happy marriage.
If you are already married, be sure to learn now how to live as a couple.
People do change with proper education.
You can learn how to build an empathetic heart.
You can learn good communication skills.
You can learn how to harmonize the differences between men and women.
You can also receive therapy to heal your emotional scars.

Love is not chemistry.
Love is a choice.
If you choose the right language, you’ll send out a message of love.
if you choose loving behavior, you will foster loving feelings in your partner.
Each day, you can make conscious choice to talk and behave lovingly toward to your loving partner.